I just finished reading an article in the August 2010 issue of Marie Claire titled Single Girl Seeks Sugar Daddy. I was hoping that they would have it on their website so that I would be able to link directly to the article but they didn't. All I can say after reading this though is wow…
I really don’t want to give this chick too much shine, so I’m not mentioning her name, because clearly something is wrong with her mentally and from the tone of the article you can tell that Amanda Robb (the reporter interviewing her) realizes that she’s a few sandwiches short of a picnic basket as well. She left a job as a psychologist in Australia at the request of her married boyfriend because he wanted a full time mistress. When that went south (shockingly) she found herself living above her means, unmotivated and heartbroken so instead of doing what any other strong woman would have done (mainly go back to work using that degree that couldn’t have been easy to obtain and making a personal pact to stay away from married men) she puts an ad online seeking a sugar daddy at the rate of $1000 per week. Today, she’s finished living the life of a well paid mistress and has written a book chronicling her life as the equivalent of a high class hooker. The article consists of her rationalizing this lifestyle and talking as if she has something over us regular women who choose not to sell our vaginas for a handbag and rent money.
Here’s an excerpt from the interview:
“MC: You’re an educated professional. How do you rationalize this lifestyle?
HH: We all sell ourselves – whether it’s our bodies, our brawn, or our minds. Selling a quality product is empowering when you get a lot of customers. And I had offers from dozens of men.
MC: But how is it any different from being a prostitute?
HH: Maybe I’m a sex worker, but by that definition, then so are women who only stay with their husbands for the weekly allowance. And at least I got to choose my buyers.
MC: You had four sugar daddies in half a year. If you’re selling yourself as a commodity¸ wasn’t it depressing to be “returned” so often?
HH: I didn’t take it personally. They just wanted to spoil themselves with me, and spoiling isn’t something people do for too long. If you have a treat all the time, it stops being a treat”
When did it become okay to refer to yourself as a piece of property? There’s no difference between what she’s doing and what women on the corner are doing. The only difference is that she is of the warped belief that this is the only way she can avoid being hurt and maintain an advantage over men. Her exact words when questioned on this are:
"Men are geared to be sexual creatures. If we force them to be monogamous, we’re not using their biology to our best advantage, and we’re going to be vulnerable. But negotiate with a man and it makes you powerful. If he goes to a strip club, maybe you get a new handbag or frock. It’s about working with nature rather than against it.”
When the reporter questioned her on this saying (obviously) that women can buy their own handbags and suggesting thoughts like these hold us back as women she responds with,
“What’s retro is how we demonize selling sex. Why, why is selling one’s vagina so very bad? It’s so screwed up. Besides, my handbags are worth more to me than a lay”
Really? Wth? The sad thing is I know women who think this way and I know mother’s who have passed this way of thinking on to their daughters. Personally, it makes me sick. My vagina is not now nor has it ever been for sale and it’s worth waaaaaaayyy more to me than any handbag on Earth. You can buy almost anything in this world but you cannot purchase self respect and self worth. When she hits middle age she’s going to hit a rude awakening because she will no longer be able to profit off her body this way. And by putting these thoughts out there in magazines, the internet and in her memoir no self respecting man is going to want to marry her, so I hope her book sells enough to support her in old age or that she is at least putting up some of the money these guys are paying her so that she has a retirement fund because very soon she’s going to have to wake up from this dream she is in. What happens to some women that they feel this is normal and is acceptable to pass on to the next generation? Why would you put a price on yourself? I couldn't put a price on myself if I wanted to because I value myself so much that no one walking this earth could ever afford the price I would set so those that I choose to share myself and my time with should be extremely grateful that I bestowed that priveledge upon them. That’s how high all women should value themselves. This woman is a clear product of how a dysfunctional childhood home can affect a person’s mindset way into adulthood. She isn’t a young woman, she was 35 years old when she placed the sugar daddy classified ad, she’s a psychologist, and she should know better but this only serves as an example of what can happen when you put material possessions as the head of your life. There are women who will read this article and think everything she says makes sense. There are young women who will now go out and buy her book using it as the guideline for their own lives. She has a boyfriend with whom she practices “negotiated infidelity”. All that means is they are swingers but that is a whole other topic and this has gone on long enough.
The bottom line is that it doesn’t take rocket science or a degree in psychology to see that this isn’t the story of a woman empowered by her sexuality that has the upper hand on men and therefore should be looked up to. Based off what I’ve read in this article (I won’t be reading the book) this is the story of a woman who watched her father cheat constantly, who saw her mother hurt and torn but staying with this man, who opened her heart to a married man and gave up everything she’d worked for to be with him only to have him drop her once he grew bored, who sold her body out of a place of despair thinking this was the only way for her to get what she wanted out of men without having her heart broken, who then found a man who was attracted to her insecurities and used them to convince her that he was going to cheat regardless so that by allowing him the freedom to do so and basically pimp her out to other cheating men she could have her cake and eat it too and whom unfortunately is now passing her insecurities and shortcomings on to the next generation as evidenced by the following passage:
“MC: You are close to your young nieces. Do you consider yourself a decent role model for them?
HH: Yes! Teenage girls need to realize that nature makes young men under the influence of testosterone for the first time unscrupulous. If we continue to fight this future generation’s marriages are going to fail just as ours have”
She actually believes that marriages fail because women expect monogamy. And she actually believes that by passing this on she’s helping. Here’s my final question… when are we going to stop giving women like this the time of day? When will the media stop promoting these women? When will they stop getting publishing deals? I mean look at the world around us. Open marriages are getting press because of the celebrities currently involved, you have shows like Basketball Wives and Real Housewives where women aren’t even married but calling themselves wives and most are in it for the money, you have people like Superhead and the Tiger Woods harem promoting the groupie lifestyle and now you have this woman’s book. I’m sorry but enough is enough. I’m tired of seeing and reading about stuff like this and I’m scared of the world my daughters will inherit thanks to women like this. And this woman is a doctor. She could technically start treating people’s emotional problems at any time and spreading this stupidity from a medical perspective. Jesus take the wheel….. I pray that her sister or brother reads this article and keeps those young girls as far away from her as humanly possible.
****I refuse to print the title of the book or the name of the lady being interviewed because I will not give her further promotion on my blog BUT if you are interested in reading the rest of the article, you can pick up Marie Claire’s August 2010 issue which is on newsstands now, the title of the article is Single Girl Seeks Sugar Daddy by Amanda Robb.
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